As I was browsing through Pinterest in an attempt to cure my boredom, I made an observation that I just had to act on!!! We’ve all read at least one, probably several hundred, open letters to a certain person…an ex, an absent parent, a child, or an old friend. You get the idea.
I came across several letters addressed to their sons and daughters, first or last born, young and old, but I didn’t come across a single letter addressed to a son with ADHD, which was highly shocking to me. Being the mother of an amazing boy who struggles with this disorder on a daily basis, I was inspired to write a letter of my own…
My dearest Aiden,
You are such an amazing little boy and I never want you to forget that!
I still remember the day I found out you were growing inside me and can still feel the anxiousness, fear and excitement I was experiencing in that tiny bathroom stall at red lobster. I was so excited that I was going to be your mommy and the day you were born changed my world forever! The delivery was rough on us both… I thought for a second I might lose you but you were perfect of course! Mommy almost died just so that you could be a part of this world and to this day I’d give my last breath if it meant you would be able take another one.
You were immediately a mama’s boy… wouldn’t even let me sleep more than an hour or two before you had to see me again! We shared many long and sleepless nights together, and I just kept falling more and more in love!!!
As you grew into a toddler, you were definitely your own person! Wild didn’t even begin to describe your spunky personality!!! You have always picked up on things at a faster rate than most children your age and you definitely seemed to have triple the energy! I spent many days very discouraged because I felt like I wasn’t a good enough parent, like you were acting out to punish me for not wanting to play those extra 30 minutes, or because I made you eat your green beans before you could watch Oso.
I watched other children and wondered what on earth I was doing so wrong…why wasn’t I able to control my child? Why did everyone feel the need to stare because you were a free spirit and didn’t care where we were? What was I doing wrong for you to be so mean to me sometimes?
As you continued to grow older, you went through a lot of tough times with mommy, as well as some of the best times of my life. For a while, It was just you and me…then we welcomed your little brother into the world and you were so excited; my heart was overflowing with love for you boys!
I feel like you might have felt left out quite a bit, or that mommy got onto you a lot more because all my focus was on taking care of a newborn and at least making sure your needs were met and that didn’t leave much time for mommy/Aiden moments… looking back now, my heart still aches wishing I could change the way I treated you at times, but the past is the past!
You kept growing older, funny how that works huh? The older you got, the more your symptoms poked through and again I just thought I was failing as a mother. I thought I was doing everything right, but I guess I wasn’t and we were left to face this world alone again. I’m so sorry for that because I never wanted you to be a part of a broken home.
Mommy had to face the world head on and had you and your brother depending on me! I seemed to be doing an OK job in my opinion, but others probably didn’t agree. When you started school, I was so very proud of you and how intelligent you were but you just couldn’t stay out of trouble…see your brain works a little bit differently than most other kids your age. You were diagnosed with extreme ADHD and were put on medicine immediately because the teachers just couldn’t handle your wild spirit!
Again I felt like I failed you because surely there was something I could have done to help you without resorting to medicine. Others judged me for it and people always insinuated it was my fault. They would say I was a bad mother, and that is what caused your behavior.
What those people don’t know, is you aren’t a bad child! You are a very unique, intelligent, creative, energetic and funny little boy!!! You have made me laugh at times I felt like crying. You are a whiz when it comes to anything mathematical (just like mommy 😉) and know more about electronics than some adults do!!! You have a dazzling personality and such an empathetic and compassionate soul.You could make a rock laugh with some of the silly stories you come up with. I could go on and on…
Having ADHD does not mean you are bad, or different. You are just so smart and excited about everything and most people can’t handle all your spunkiness 😉. People will always judge you, some may even tease you but you know what? Their opinion of you means absolutely NOTHING! Don’t let what anyone says ever break that spirit your mommy is so in love with! Be who you are…being yourself is what makes you who you are so don’t you ever feel like you have to change for anybody! The world can be a scary and intimidating place, and people can be very mean sometimes; love them anyways! Always be kind; always show respect; always be yourself!
You will change the world one day, sweet boy, the same way you change mine every single day!!!
Love always and forever,